How to accept compliment (even about your body)

I’m away with my new boyfriend and it’s our first trip abroad together. The relationship isn’t that new (it’s not like I met him yesterday) but it’s still new for me because for a long time (8 years) I was in a relationship which ended earlier this year. I haven’t shared anything about this aspect of my life with you yet although I’ve wanted to. In particular, I’ve wanted to write about the feelings about my body that have been coming up since starting this new relationship but I wasn’t ready to share them - until now. 

I’ve been doing this work for a really long time - and I thought I’d conquered pretty much all of my body demons. Turns out, when it came to sex and relationship I definitely hadn’t! I’d been so comfy on my old relationship that this part of myself hadn’t really had to develop. (I got into a relationship at 26 and didn’t have to think about getting naked with anyone new until I hit 34! That’s one hell of a comfort blanket.) When that support scaffolding was removed, I had to put myself out there anew - well, it turns out that those demons from my teenage years and twenties hadn’t gone away, they’d just been sleeping. 

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Making peace with beach photos

Beach body fears are perhaps what most of my clients most dread at Summer - and I get it, I used to hate the warm weather for the same reason. This week I got to push the boundaries of my own healing and discover just how far I've come by setting myself a bikini photo challenge every day during my Greek holiday.

If you've ever had a moment of fear at seeing a camera on your hols, then this blog is for you.  

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Flippin’ the weekly weigh in

This week’s blog post comes from an previous client who’s an artist. After we had finished working together she decided to tackle a creative project she’d had in her mind for a long time but not been brave enough to start.. until now.

J decided to take a photo of herself naked, reclining on a red sofa to show herself that regardless of how she’s feeling, her body looks pretty much the same. It’s hard to think about how much of our energy is spent focusing on how we think we look and how different we feel each day - when in fact it’s our minds that could use some TLC not our bodies which have most often stayed the same!

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How to get rid of your inner bitch voice?

Ooph, we can be mean to ourselves can’t we?! It almost always breaks my heart when I have the first session with my clients to hear the things they say about themselves.

We speak to ourselves in ways we would never, ever speak to anyone else. An important, in fact pivotal point in the body acceptance journey is being able to soften the inner dialogue but in order to start doing that we have to become familiar of the words we’re using against ourselves. This might take time, don’t worry. It may be that – like many of us — your self-critical voice is so common for you that you don’t even notice when it is present.

If you think about how long we’ve been saying these things to ourselves - it’s no wonder it’s going to take a bit of time to change them!

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The feeling of the red bikini

Something a little different this week. I wanted to share something that one of my long term clients wrote as part of a writing exercise we came up with as a goal.

For context - this client, let’s call her R, has been working with me for a long time and she recently had a wonderful moment when she found a red bikini she felt confident enough to wear. This piece was inspired by that purchase.

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Breaking free from the 'perfect' myth

Perfectionism - not only is a myth - but it's highly damaging belief system. It fuels the thought 'if I can look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimise feelings of hurt, shame and judgement.' What happens when we fail in our pursuit of the goal we want is, instead of looking at our idea for perfection, we see ourselves as the failing. Which ironically, only leads to more shame, hurt and judgement. 

This all equals a shit ton of 'I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH' 

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