How to Start Showing up for Yourself (Like you would for your best friend)

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Are you one of these people who gets annoyed when people don’t show up for you? Or cancel plans last minute? When someone changes their mind last minute or puts something else over what they’ve planned with you?

It’s fucking annoying right?! Doesn’t make you feel good and often leaves you missing out on something good.

Well bae, how many times are you doing that to YOURSELF.

How many times are you half-heartedly making a health goal, wanting to start something new, promising to be kinder to yourself or start a new habit and then backing out last minute and prioritising the switch for something else? Or setting a vague intention and then giving it the brush-off when something better (easier) comes along.

What about if you decide to throw in the towel with diets because you’ve got a feeling that it’s all BS anyway and that life it too short.


But my lunch time you’re scrolling through Instagram and then your eyes flick to the circle of shame in the magazine rack. Suddenly you think to yourself, well maybe just one more chance to get your thighs slimmer. And the next thing you know, you’ve bought a diet dinner and you’re beating yourself up for falling off the wagon again.

Ooph! Why do we do it to ourselves?!

Or how about deciding that you used to love swimming. So you’re going to start a new routine. You dust off your swimsuit, take it to work but then there’s birthday drinks so you think, ah fuck it, and put off swimming till tomorrow. But does tomorrow ever come?

I’m not saying that new mindset shift or habit forming is easy, fuck no! It’s one of the hardest things going!

We have to start keeping promises to ourselves. There is no one’s health more important than yours and nobody’s mental health more important than yours (I say that because diet mentality affects our mental health more than anything).

Body confidence, breaking free from diets and starting a new habit to make you happier is about playing the long game. It’s the direct opposite to all the junk messages we’re sold in magazines.

It’s not something that can be ‘fixed’ in 6 weeks or juiced/cleansed or detoxed out of us.


It takes sheer determination and fierce courage to break free. To decide to exercise just for the pure joy of it, create something because it makes you happy, or decide to accept your body because life is too god damn short not to - these are hella challenges!

And just like you wouldn’t set out of a mountain trek with a pair of flip flops, it’s time to get real about the mental arsenal you’re putting together to make these changes.

Want to be a bopo yogi? You can do it! But it’s not going to happen making one class in twenty with a hangover. What to be loving yo’self in a bikini not giving a shit what other people think? Hell to the yes you can! But it’s going to work to un-do all those negative self-talk patterns we build up. But even just starting with the phrase ‘I’m OK’ is enough (if you can leap to telling yourself you love yourself? That’s amazing!)

How to prioritise making a habit change that’ll stick?

  • Set your intention: it is pinning the place you want to go and the direction in which you will travel. Feel free to spend a few minutes visualisation your end point. Really FEEL why you want to do this.
  • Get real: what number from 1 - 10 are you making this? Think 8 is good enough? I invite you to ask the question, what’s more important than your health and mental wellbeing?
  • Make these promises to yourself as if you were making them to your best friend (who was back from the other side of the world for one lunch for you) 
  • Keep the date: Make these NON-NEGOTIABLE unless there is an emergency! (And Emma from work’s birthday drinks do not class as an emergency, fyi)
  • Call in your support team… who might actually be your best friend!
  • Track your progress: there are some great bullet journals, habit trackers out there. Or even just putting a note in your phone will do. Celebrate your wins!
  • Give yourself a reward for for sticking to your new habit/routine as often as you need e.g. 1 week, 1 month, 6 month. But don’t hold back on treating yourself for too long. Be kind to yourself. Try and make it a proper treat e.g. a massage, a manicure, tickets to something, rather than a slice of cake which you might have classed as ‘naughty’ previously (before you realised diets are bollocks and food is just food yeah? ;)

What promises can you make to yourself this week and make a no.10 on the priority scale and stick to as if you were making a date with your bestie?

Harri x