Why diets are so tempting, despite not working
Oh Christmas feasting - glorious glorious Christmas feasting - what a wonderful thing it is. To eat for pleasure, to eat past the point of fullness just because there are three dessert options and yes, you will try all three thank you. What joy!
Food isn’t just nourishment, whatever wellness bloggers say, it is one of life’s greatest pleasures and for a couple of weeks in December we are allowed to GO for it with full - un-do the top button - pass the cheese please, gusto.
Then around the 29th December, this happens.
‘Oh dear, I can see January coming round the corner. She seems to be accompanied with several C-list celebrities touting weight loss DVDs, every single magazine containing the latest ‘healthy lifestyle’ regime and diet clubs waving giant before and after photos from people who have apparently ‘won at dieting.’
All those comments, wherever you’re getting them, tend to boil down to this message:
‘I used to be fat and miserable till I tried X. I lost weight and now I’m happier than I’ve ever been before - and life is awesome and all my problems are solved.’
I’ve been on this journey to rid myself of diet-mentality and destroy diet culture for a long time now. I’ve been surrounding myself with incredible self-loving babes, telling myself that my thighs (dimples and all) are worthy of love and generally working hard to clear the slime (this is what I call negative self-talk) that has built up over the years about my weight and self-esteem issues.
But even the most hard-core bopo warrior can find this period after Christmas and into the beginning of Jan triggering as fuck.
Even if you know that diets don’t work and that you’re actually much better off NOT going on a diet (and even the bitter pill to swallow that is the fact you’re likely to be thinner in the long run by staying the hell away) these messages can still get you.
The reason for this is because the shitty reality is that life IS easier if you’re thin - and I hate writing that down as a sentence.
Even though the reality is such, it sure as hell doesn't mean we all should look the same.
We live in a hugely weight bias world. We have ONE image of beauty and that includes collar bones.
Fat phobia is real and research tells us that people are discriminated against for simply existing in a bigger body - from public shaming and even less quality medical treatment - this is the shocking and sad reality of the world we live in.
Therefore, I hold no judgement to anyone who wants to wholeheartedly believe the words of someone wanting to sell you a magic pill with an great looking ‘thinspo’ after-photo.
These ‘new year, new you’ campaigns are fucking TEMPTING - and when you’re at war with your body, it’s very easy to want to believe that this is the year you’ll finally achieve your dream body.
I definitely remember the countless years I fell into this trap. I used to wish and hope so hard that whatever plan it was that I was embarking on this time would finally be THE solution to all my woes (which meant my bum and thigh size). I would day dream about reaching my goal weight so that I could frolic around in a bikini with a massive smile on my face because all my problems would have disappeared. Oh how my life would be sorted if only I could reach 9 stone 12! (This was the lowest point on the Weight Watchers scale I could get down to, which now I have my eyes open is RIDICULOUSLY LOW for my height - I would look ill at this weight).
Our brains LOVE an easy solution. So I fully understand that it can feel easier to go on the latest diet to try and get your body to conform to society than learn to accept the body you have, the genetics you were born with and the reality that it is incredibly difficult to change your shape.
I sometimes feel like the destroyer of dreams when I work with my clients and help them come to this realisation, but what it really means is that we need to change society, not our bodies. And more than that - that when you learn to accept the body that you have it is FREEDOM not FAILURE.
Body acceptance is the freedom to live your life right now, not at some mythical time in the future. It’s giving yourself permission to go out and grab life and experience all it has to offer you. It’s learning to be kind to yourself and stop holding yourself back because you don’t feel you’re good enough.
This is why giving up dieting is so much more than just loving the skin you’re in.
But it’s also much, much more than that. It’s about social inclusion and dismantling the beauty industry to make space for the vast array of shapes and sizes which occur naturally! (More on that another time.)
If that all feels a little overwhelming then it can be more simply put. Happiness has never, ever been found through self-hate.
Diets are the cruelest thing you can do to yourself. They hammer a consistent message that you don’t deserve to enjoy life - and that it’s easy to change your body if you just stick to the rules (this is lies babe, pure lies.)
You are NOT a body-posi failure if you find yourself looking to diets for a way to love your body.
These ‘new year, new you’ messages arrive when we are at our most sluggish - after all, those Quality Streets weren’t going to eat themselves! Think about it. If these diet messages arrived in the same way at the end of summer when we’d all been enjoying sunshine, potentially eating more greens and lighter foods and drinking equal parts pina coladas and water - they wouldn’t have half the impact.
But no, these diet narratives arrive at the end of our greatest period of feasting. Our bellies are round, our skin perhaps showing the effects of one too many vinos and exercise has mainly consisted of popping from one party to another with an additional gentle stroll if we’re lucky.
The diet industry is clever AF. They know exactly how to get into our heads and into our wallets.
This is how society is currently set up…
The beauty industry tells us we ‘should’ look a certain way, when we don’t see that reflected back in our mirrors suddenly the diet industry swoops in and tell us that if we follow rules X,Y and Z than we’ll achieve our perfect body.
It’s a powerful messaging loop that’s tempting as hell.
Hear me though bae, diets do not work.
Diets have been around for decades. If they worked then we would all be thin and the diet industry would be bust. Instead, the industry is growing and few people ever manage to sustain their weight loss. It is a MYTH that they work. If there was a medicine that failed 90% of the time, it would never be prescribed, yet diets are prescribed again and again. It’s total BS.
There is no 'one size fits all' set of rules that will permanently change your body to look like the girls in the magazines.
Anyone who tells you that they have a quick, easy way to lose weight is selling you lies, pure and simple. Run away. Quickly.
Losing weight won’t fix your thoughts or make you happy.
Yes, society will treat you better (again, fuck you society) but it won’t fix your negative thoughts about your worth.
How many thin people who meet the beauty standard do you know who are still bitching about their invisible body problem areas? LOADS right!
What we need to do is say fuck you to beauty standards, diet plans and false dreams.
Then have this message put on repeat: ‘your worth is not measured by your waist size’.
I know that it’s hard to believe but the only way to love your body is to create healthful practices that suit you and your body. We need to rid ourselves that weight loss will equal happiness. Healthful practices include eating in a way that feels right for you, finding movement which you enjoy and throwing away the scales for other markers of health. When you’ve found what feels right for you, this might mean you lose weight but you might not, and it doesn’t matter!
When all around you people are restricting, weighing. Measuring and waxing lyrical about their latest amazing detox (another con fyi), it is revolutionary to stay in your lane and take the slower, harder, body acceptance approach.
This is why I judge no one who's tempted by dieting propaganda. I just hope you will realise it’s not the way to self love and happiness.
Love Harri Rose xx
WORK WITH ME
If you would like more support in your journey to loving yourself, book a FREE 20 minute mini coaching session and get a taste of what it’s like having your very own coach. In these mini power sessions you’ll come away with an action plan to tackle your most pressing food or body issue. I promise, you can learn to embrace the skin you’re in and live your best life. Book a free call now or drop me a note to firstname.lastname@example.org