6 ways jealousy can be a good thing
(Before we start, let me just clarify here. I’m talking about jealousy of what other people have. Not jealousy within an relationship. That’s a whole other kettle of fish, cookie.)
Let’s just start with jealousy of stuff in other people’s lives.
We’re taught from a young age that envy is a pretty negative emotion. Let’s be honest, no one really wants to fess up to wanting what someone else has got. But in reality, sometimes we can’t help but look at another person's life and feel a bit… I want what they’ve got. Amma right?
I’ve definitely been guilty in the past of looking at what other successful women are doing and thinking, why does she deserve to that? Or thinking, how come she gets everything so easily when I’m working so hard? Or (and this is a big one) bitching in my mind about someone else’s body, purely because I’m jealous that those thighs (or abs or arms or calves etc.) are not my own.
But I’ve come to realise that channeled properly, jealous can be super useful! Once you start becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings, you realise all emotions can tell us something.
As with any other emotion - the problem with jealousy doesn’t lie in feeling it - but in what you do with it. Are you using it positively or negatively?
Here’s how you can make that green eyed monster start working for you.
Firstly, we need to learn to catch those potentially bitchy thoughts and ask yourself, what exactly is it you’re jealous of? Typically, the type of things we want for ourselves are based around these 4 things - connection, success, possessions or appearance.
Next, time to flip everything we think we know about jealousy.
Turns out, clever jealousy can show us exactly what we’re craving in our own life. It can shine a light on the path you need to travel, or act like a compass, and show you which direction you need to go in to fulfill the thing you think is lacking in your world.
Hear me when I say - there really isn’t any reason you can’t have what she has. You are worthy of just as much love, success, health and happiness as anyone else.
Here are 6 ways jealousy is a good thing:
Motivator - use jealousy as a motivator to work out a series of goals or next steps to push you forward. Fire in your belly!
Curiosity - allow jealousy to brings awareness to your own life. Look at the areas which you’re not so happy with and ask why are they there. Few of us are actually as stuck as we think we are. We’re just paralysed from lack of action.
Crush that comparison demon - there’s nothing more damaging than comparison. If you’re feeling like you’re never going to get what someone else has, and perhaps that they don’t deserve it, use this new found awareness to check yourself. You have NO idea what other people are doing behind the scenes to get where they are, so tell that bitch voice to jog on.
If it’s to do with someone else’s appearance (and this is soooooo common) then let’s take a minute to assess your own self-esteem. Be curious at how you speak to yourself and what you can do to be kinder. You have to embrace your own version of you. I know it sounds naff AF, but the world would be seriously fucking boring if we all looked the same. Revisit all the anti-diet bopo babes and remind yourself that it’s only because we have this BS one standard of beauty that makes us feel bad about the glorious diversity of bodies. Stop checking on others and use that time to bust open the doors of your own brand rad.
Possibility - Instead of sitting there in envy, use it as inspiration to show what’s possible! If you work consistently and with purpose - there’s no reason that you can’t have what the other person has. Plan it out, work hard and see what happens baby!
Connection - want something that she has? Make a connection and ask her how she’s done it? There’s nothing more valuable than a mentor. If that person is out of reach then look at others who are more accessible in the same field. You’re not on the outside, you just need to build your tribe (of awesomeness)!
Passion - Flipped on it’s head, jealousy is just passion out of whack. You want something so badly that it’s making you crazy. Use it! Be fearless in our pursuit.
When you’re turning green, simply switch it up and use it like fire to work out a plan of action and take you closer to getting the same thing for yourself.
I hope you can see how being jelly it’s something to hide, but something SUPER useful that you can channel into positive action.
Love Harri x
******Wanna go deeper into this work? *****
Lesson 1: Tuesday October 30th 2018 at 7pm is all about breaking free from diets culture and how to harness the power of curiosity to improve your life.