Treat yourself like your BFF, say what?
I've got a question for you. How often do you treating yourself like your best friend?
I reckon not as often as we need to be. We are often more cruel to ourselves than anyone else and say things to ourselves we wouldn’t dream of saying out loud to anyone ̶ especially when we're looking in the mirror! We can be our own worst enemy!
The best friend comment was one I read in a book a long, long time ago when I was at University. At the time I was in the depths of self-hatred and disorder eating in the pursuit of getting thin so when I read this line 'Treat your body like your best friend' I was like... Huh? It was a concept totally alien to me and it took me years to be able to behave in such a way. I still have to remind myself constantly to keep up the practice.
The thing is, to be human is to be imperfect, our bodies are imperfect. Life is imperfect! If we could only see that this is the shared human experience instead of getting lost in our own inner critic then there would be a lot less bitching, bullying and bigotry!
We often don't even realise how harsh we're being to ourselves. Hopefully, if you’re here I can help shine a light on your thoughts.
As we wake up to our harsh inner critic, we need a strategy to lessen its power. This is where science has handily come up with something AWESOME.
The research says that self-compassion is the key to self-worth, good mental health and happiness.
Self-compassion, really? Yup, really. It sounds so easy and maybe even a little silly but honestly, this shit works.
The more compassion we show ourselves the easier it is to move forward and get better and improve. The kinder we are to ourselves regardless of what's happening, the easier it is to hear our thoughts, feel our desires and work out the path we need to be on.
Many people think that criticism is often thought to be a motivator but in reality, how motivated do you think you really are to go work out when your inner bitch voice is telling you what a disgusting slob you are? *Ouch* Not very.
So this weekend, can you try and catch the mean voice - and tell the bitch to leave the room! Replace the negative with some REALLY, REALLY KIND. Something you'd say to a child or your best friend. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. When it’s hard, throw even more kindness at it. HEAPS of kindness. Soften and soften some more. (If you cry, you cry!)
Check out this video from the expert of self-compassion Kristen Neff.
What do you think of self-compassion? Is it something you find easy to do or is it alien like it used to be for me?
You are worthy of love in every moment, I promise.
Love Harri Rose