The feeling of the red bikini
Something a little different on the blog this week. I wanted to share with you something that one of my long term clients wrote as part of a writing exercise we came up with as a goal. (That’s what we do in each coaching session - we come up with goals for you to work on between sessions all around feeling good in your body, making peace with food as well as improving other aspects of your life - and they can be as fun and creative as you like!)
For context - this client, let’s call her R, has been working with me for a long time and she recently had a wonderful moment when she found a red bikini she felt confident enough to wear. This piece was inspired by that purchase.
When she shared with me what she’d written I thought it was so beautiful that I had to share it. It made my heart burst with pride when I read it. I hope you’ll agree it’s a wonderful thing.
The Feeling of the Red Bikini
A red bikini feels like swirling your arms in water. Like being lifted by a salty sea. Like warm air from a tropical ocean lifting your skirt. A red bikini is curves like the shore, like a rock, the cliff, the waves. Wearing a red bikini is loud, is taking up space, it sticks to the skin, nothing is hidden. When I put it on at home, it whispers to me of summer warmth and holidays. It says it can hold in any worries, and I can wear it alongside friends with acceptance, maybe sometimes pride. When I wear it, it feels like a middle finger, a shout, a push back.
A black swimsuit is practical, it’s easier. I’ll still get looks, but I will be wearing something ‘appropriate’, I’ll be being a good fat person, trying my best to escape my body and hiding it for others’ comfort. It’s hard to take off that black swimsuit that I’ve always been wearing. But I have put the red bikini on now, and it won’t come off. I’ll be noticed more, looked at more, but they were looking anyway. Let them see I don’t need their approval. I can take care of myself better than they ever have.
The red bikini feels angry, feels dominant, outspoken, vulnerable. It feels like baring it all. But it can also feel like rising, like warmth, luxury, truth, healing.
How amazing is that! I love it. Thank you R for letting me share it online. (This was super out of her comfort zone so a MASSIVE double high fives for pushing her own boundaries.)
If you feel inspired, feel free to send me any pieces of prose or poems you’ve written about your body, a piece of clothing or an experience you had related to body acceptance. Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t forget you can get a taste of what it’s like having your very own coach by booking a free 40 minute power session.
See you soon!
Love Harri x