Posts in Self compassion
How to accept compliment (even about your body)

I’m away with my new boyfriend and it’s our first trip abroad together. The relationship isn’t that new (it’s not like I met him yesterday) but it’s still new for me because for a long time (8 years) I was in a relationship which ended earlier this year. I haven’t shared anything about this aspect of my life with you yet although I’ve wanted to. In particular, I’ve wanted to write about the feelings about my body that have been coming up since starting this new relationship but I wasn’t ready to share them - until now. 

I’ve been doing this work for a really long time - and I thought I’d conquered pretty much all of my body demons. Turns out, when it came to sex and relationship I definitely hadn’t! I’d been so comfy on my old relationship that this part of myself hadn’t really had to develop. (I got into a relationship at 26 and didn’t have to think about getting naked with anyone new until I hit 34! That’s one hell of a comfort blanket.) When that support scaffolding was removed, I had to put myself out there anew - well, it turns out that those demons from my teenage years and twenties hadn’t gone away, they’d just been sleeping. 

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How to get rid of your inner bitch voice?

Ooph, we can be mean to ourselves can’t we?! It almost always breaks my heart when I have the first session with my clients to hear the things they say about themselves.

We speak to ourselves in ways we would never, ever speak to anyone else. An important, in fact pivotal point in the body acceptance journey is being able to soften the inner dialogue but in order to start doing that we have to become familiar of the words we’re using against ourselves. This might take time, don’t worry. It may be that – like many of us — your self-critical voice is so common for you that you don’t even notice when it is present.

If you think about how long we’ve been saying these things to ourselves - it’s no wonder it’s going to take a bit of time to change them!

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