Posts tagged self esteem
How to accept compliment (even about your body)

I’m away with my new boyfriend and it’s our first trip abroad together. The relationship isn’t that new (it’s not like I met him yesterday) but it’s still new for me because for a long time (8 years) I was in a relationship which ended earlier this year. I haven’t shared anything about this aspect of my life with you yet although I’ve wanted to. In particular, I’ve wanted to write about the feelings about my body that have been coming up since starting this new relationship but I wasn’t ready to share them - until now. 

I’ve been doing this work for a really long time - and I thought I’d conquered pretty much all of my body demons. Turns out, when it came to sex and relationship I definitely hadn’t! I’d been so comfy on my old relationship that this part of myself hadn’t really had to develop. (I got into a relationship at 26 and didn’t have to think about getting naked with anyone new until I hit 34! That’s one hell of a comfort blanket.) When that support scaffolding was removed, I had to put myself out there anew - well, it turns out that those demons from my teenage years and twenties hadn’t gone away, they’d just been sleeping. 

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Breaking free from the 'perfect' myth

Perfectionism - not only is a myth - but it's highly damaging belief system. It fuels the thought 'if I can look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimise feelings of hurt, shame and judgement.' What happens when we fail in our pursuit of the goal we want is, instead of looking at our idea for perfection, we see ourselves as the failing. Which ironically, only leads to more shame, hurt and judgement. 

This all equals a shit ton of 'I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH' 

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How to feel more whole

I’ve been in the pursuit of happiness for about 6 years now, I’ve followed all sorts of different paths, done a LOT of wacky activities and read many a book on the topic. But it’s really on pretty recently that I’ve discovered that the happiest people aren’t the ones who are happy all the time, nope, they are the ones who show up most ‘whole’ in all different aspects of their lives.

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5 ways to slay at autumn body acceptance

Recently I asked my Instagram fam how they felt in the changing season i.e from summer to autumn, and it seems that the shift from long days to colder nights brings about some hella relief from body insecurities. Summer is relentless in it’s messaging to ‘get a bikini body’ or don’t dare wear one (cheers diet culture). The hot weather invariably means either pushing yourself to show some skin or should that feel like a fate worse than death, sweating it out as best as you can.


Autumn is kinder. Autumn says, ‘oh hey jumpers and boots!’. It’s hot chocolate, root vegetables, woolly hats and it’s seeing what gems you might find the pocket when you put on your winter coat again (like discovering last year’s snotty tissues and an occasional fiver).

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How to stop needing others to feel good

As someone who has spent a lot of years getting validation from others, I know that it’s a hard habit to get rid of (and I thankfully grew up in a time before social media was really a thing). Today’s importance on social likes, shares, clicks and emojis means that learning to create habits and routines of self-love and self-validation is more important than ever. How can we do it in such a codependent world?

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Why real self-love takes balls

Self-love is often marketed in a way that’s cringey, touchy-feely and maybe even self-indulgent. But in reality - it takes a punk ass attitude. I’ll explain why. 

Too often we spend too long treating the symptoms of the (dis)stress in our lives, by which I mean, for example you’re feeling totally slammed at work (the symptom is stress) so you book a
massage to get relaxed (temporary ‘cure’). In my opinion, that's self-care. Don't get me wrong, self-care is awesome. But a bath isn't going to sort out the root cause of your problem.

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